


Passing by

by osterac1999



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Oblivious Akaashi Keiji, Unrequited Love, bokuto is definitely a himbo, or is it? what a mystery we have on our hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osterac1999/pseuds/osterac1999
Summary: Standing on the sidelines never suited Bokuto Koutarou. He was a man of action, someone who was constantly in motion, constantly doingsomething.He was never one to throw away an opportunity, much less just let one pass by. And yet…Yet.He couldn’t help but watch as Akaashi passed him by.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	Passing by

Standing on the sidelines never suited Bokuto Koutarou. He was a man of action, someone who was constantly in motion, constantly doing _something._ He was never one to throw away an opportunity, much less just let one pass by. And yet…

Yet.

He couldn’t help but watch as Akaashi passed him by. 

Akaashi was sort of an enigma to Koutarou. He was quiet, thoughtful, patient. The complete opposite of himself. And yet, Akaashi stuck by him. Helped him, cheered him up, ignored him. He seemed to know exactly what Koutarou needed to keep going.

Not for the first time, he wondered if that’s what love was. 

Not the thundering heart. Not the quick inhale of breath. Not the hot flush. Rather, the feeling of rightness that snagged his heart and settled deeper into his chest.

Not for the first time, he wondered how he had lived without that feeling in his life before.

Without Akaashi before.

Not for the first time, he wondered how he would go on after Akaashi inevitably left.

Before…

Before Akaashi, Koutarou supposed he was happy. It was hard to tell with the rose-tinted glasses covering his past memories. 

He knew for sure that before Fukurodani he wasn’t happy. There was no one to match him, to keep pace with him. He supposed his first year at Fukurodani would count as happy, then. He wasn’t lonely—he had his friends in his year and he had Kuroo. That happiness was different, he thought. There wasn’t that ever-present contentment he’d come to love his second and third years. He smiled and laughed the same, and there wasn’t a hole in his heart, but it didn’t feel _full._ It wasn’t _enough._

Koutarou was always reaching beyond, so it made sense that once Akaashi filled in all the empty spaces of his heart, he would reach for him, too.

He remembered seeing Akaashi for the first time. Or, well, hearing him for the first time.

He had been standing behind his teammates, _casually_ scoping out the new members of the club. They didn’t seem all too impressive, which depressed Koutarou a little. He was sure they would make it to nationals no problem, but he wanted the _best_ team possible! Plus, they really needed a new setter since the third year they currently had was an asshole. Not to mention the fact that he was leaving soon.

So, needless to say, when Koutarou heard, “I am Akaashi Keiji...I played setter…” He was immediately struck, ignoring the other bits of information thrown in there. Because, well, this was it. This was what he was waiting for.

If he wasn’t already struck just hearing Akaashi’s voice, he definitely was once he saw his face. There was something enigmatic about his carefully blank expression. Akaashi was pretty, sure, but the promise of _more_ definitely drew Koutarou in more. He wanted to break through that expression so badly.

Never one to second guess himself, Koutarou immediately ran up to Akaashi the moment practice ended.

He was practically jumping up and down as he said, “Akashi-“

“It’s Akaashi, not Akashi,” Akaashi corrected before adding, almost shyly, “Bokuto-san.”

Koutarou beamed. “Ak _a-a_ shi,” He carefully drew out the middle vowels, “Practice with me?”

Akaashi seemed to consider it for a moment and was about to reply before a third-year interrupted the two of them. The asshole setter.

“Don’t think you have to give in to his demands because he’s the ace, Akaashi.” He glared at Koutarou for a moment. “He’s annoyingly insistent.”

To Koutarou’s surprise (and immense satisfaction), Akaashi turned to glare at the third-year. “Actually, I find Bokuto-san’s dedication inspiring.” The third-year was taken aback by that and Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Now, if you’ll excuse us—Bokuto-san, are you ready?”

Koutarou was still reeling from the interaction he’d just witnessed. Had Akaashi just _defended_ him? After only knowing him for one practice?

(What he found out later was that Akaashi had chosen to go to Fukurodani for volleyball after seeing Koutarou play.)

Koutarou grinned and threw an arm over Akaashi’s back, causing him to stumble. “Of course, Akashi!”

“Akaashi, Bokuto-san.”

Akaashi’s casual acceptance of Koutarou always made his heart pound. He couldn’t really be blamed for falling so hard for him after that. Definitely not. 

Practicing with Akaashi was exhilarating—Akaashi met him and moved him forward. His tosses were the best for Koutarou. The casual confidence when he called out, “Bokuto-san!” was the best, too. 

He hadn’t realized how far he’d fallen until he’d seen Akaashi break into a smirk during a practice match against Nekoma during a training camp.

One minute Koutarou was falling back to the ground after a vicious spike that won the match, the next—a glimpse of Akaashi’s satisfied smirk distracted him enough to not watch his footing. He completely collapsed onto the ground, rolling his ankle in the process.

There was a glorious moment of silence where Koutarou was able to burn Akaashi’s face into his memory. The next moment, everyone was crowding around Koutarou, wondering what happened. Koutarou only had eyes for Akaashi’s concerned frown, though. He could stare at him forever.

“-to!” Someone yelled, dragging him focus from Akaashi. “Bokuto!” They yelled again, and Koutarou noticed it was Kuroo. “You good, man?”

Koutarou stared at him blankly for a moment. What…? _Oh._ His fall.

“I’m good!” He announced, attempting to get to his feet before wincing, ankle unable to support his weight. “Or not.”

Kuroo laughed, going to help him up, but he was stopped by Akaashi, already pulling Koutarou to his feet. He supported his weight as he led him to the bench.

“You need to be more careful, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi chided, depositing him on the bench. “You can’t be distracted and become injured.” He paused for a moment like he was contemplating his next few words. “The team needs its ace.” 

Koutarou felt like there was more to it than that. Or, he at least hoped there was.

“I’m fine, ‘Kaashi! Don’t worry!” Koutarou smiled, throwing a thumbs-up in for good measure.

Kuroo looked between the two of them before he caught Koutarou’s eye and smirked knowingly. Oh no. He shot him a wide-eyed look that practically screamed _Bro, shut up!!_

In a bid to distract Kuroo and keep Akaashi ignorant, Koutarou threw an arm around each of their shoulders and dragged them both toward him. They both came willingly, but he suspected Akaashi was more due to shock than anything else. 

“I’m hungry!” He announced, using both of them to pull himself up from the bench. “Let’s go get some food!”

One look at Kuroo’s face and Koutarou knew his plan hadn’t worked in the slightest. Damn.

That was how he found himself cornered by Kuroo after the three of them had eaten dinner with Kenma. And Koutarou was literally cornered—Kuroo had shoved into the nearest corner outside the dining hall. Curiosity gleamed in his eyes and he leaned casually against the wall, legs casually boxing Koutarou in. He couldn’t handle it when Kuroo got like this.

“So-” Kuroo started before he was immediately interrupted by Koutarou.

“I have a crush on Akaashi!” Koutarou sobbed out, clutching his face in his hands.

“Oh. Well, that was easier than I thought it would be.” Kuroo said, grabbing his chin and nodding. “Much easier.”

Koutarou pulled his hands away from his face and pouted. “You know I can’t handle when you do the whole—whole cat thingy!”

Kuroo gasped in mock-offense. “Bokubro! I would never use a known weakness against my best bro! You know I would never do such a thing.”

“You suck.” Koutarou kept pouting, slowly slipping down the wall until he was sitting. “This sucks.”

Kuroo immediately switched from teasing to reassurance. “It’ll be fine,” Kuroo patted his shoulder and shot him a grin. “We’ll get Akaashi to be yours in no time!”

Kuroo’s unyielding confidence definitely gave Koutarou his own confidence boost. Yeah! Yeah, he could do this! Akaashi would be swooning in no time and hold his hand and, maybe, _kiss him_ -

“Be Bokuto-san’s what?” A voice asked and Kuroo and Koutarou turned toward it, almost comically slow.

Koutarou was going to die. He was going to die right here and never get to play professionally or hold Akaashi’s hand. The ground was going to swallow him up and then he would live forever in Hell.

Neither of them said anything as Akaashi stood passively a few feet from them. Koutarou could tell a hot blush was working itself up his face. Oh, fuck. Oh, _fuck_.

Luckily, Kuroo had always been a bit quicker than Koutarou on the uptake. 

“His setter, of course!” Kuroo exclaimed, reaching toward Akaashi and looping an arm around his shoulders. Akaashi glances at Koutarou, who quickly (too quickly?) nodded his agreement. “Bokuto’s been telling me how awesome you are as a setter, so we were scheming.”

Akaashi squinted his eyes an almost imperceptible amount. “Bokuto-san doesn’t seem the scheming type,” He finally said, glancing toward Koutarou.

“Alright, _I_ was scheming. The current starting setter is an asshole.” 

Akaashi gave Kuroo an appraising look. “Then I’ll pretend I never heard any of that. And I definitely won’t offer up any ideas.”

Ah, so they were both actually scheming now.

Shit.

How easy was it to fall in love with someone? He should Google that later…

However easy it was to fall in love or not, Koutarou was helpless to watch as Akaashi and Kuroo “definitely did not” plan the ousting of the third-year setter. It was only later after they had thoroughly said goodbye to Kuroo, that Koutarou brought it up.

“So why are you uh, ‘not,’ scheming to get rid of him?” Koutarou asked, trying not to stare at Akaashi’s face every few seconds.

Akaashi hummed and fiddled with his fingers, something Koutarou had come to realize meant he was nervous. “No particular reason.”

Koutarou scoffed lightly. He definitely didn’t believe that for a second. “No waaaay, ‘Kaashi. Don’t lie!”

After a moment of deliberation, Akaashi suddenly stopped, which pulled Koutarou to a stop as well. He took the moment to take Akaashi in. The light of the lamp posts glinted off his eyes and Koutarou suddenly felt like he was staring out at the sea at night. The light swam in Akaashi’s eyes, reminding him of the gentle sloshing of waves.

Koutarou was knocked out of his musings when Akaashi cleared his throat. To his credit, Koutarou did. look sheepish. He should’ve been paying better attention.

Despite Akaashi getting his attention, he didn’t speak for several moments. “He’s not nice to you, Bokuto-san.”

Akaashi said that like it was something Koutarou didn’t already know. Like Koutarou wasn’t already aware of the starting setter’s fraying patience with him. Or the sickly sweet back-handed compliments thrown at him throughout matches. Or even the lack of tosses sent his way during practice matches. To Koutarou, it sounded like Akaashi genuinely cared, and that left him feeling warm. A cozy, full feeling expanding his already full heart.

Koutarou offered Akaashi a much smaller grin than usual. “I know, Akaashi.”

Akaashi stared at him blankly for a moment, brows pinched. “You do?”

Koutarou wasn’t sure if he liked the surprise on Akaashi’s face or not. Regardless, he turned toward him and cocked his head to the side. “Yeah, I might not be the smartest person ever-“

“I never said that-“ Akaashi attempted to interrupt, but Koutarou kept going. 

“But I do know when people are being mean to me on purpose,” He finished, steadfastly ignoring the slightly guilty expression on Akaashi’s face.

Very awkwardly, Akaashi reached over and rested his hand on Koutarou’s shoulder, pulling all of his focus towards him. Akaashi seemed to struggle with what to say, mouth opening and closing several times before he grunted in frustration.

Finally, he settled on, “I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel like you weren’t intelligent, Bokuto-san.”

Koutarou gaped at Akaashi. Akaashi making—was Akaashi even able to do that? He—no, he definitely didn’t think so. Akaashi was a pillar of support for Koutarou, even if they had only known each other for a short time. Even if Akaashi wasn’t a starter, he still tried his best to pull Koutarou out of his different moods. Others tried, but Akaashi wasn’t definitely the best at it. Akaashi _got_ him. 

Koutarou clapped a hand over Akaashi’s hand and smiled warmly at him. “Don’t worry, ‘Kaashi. You could never do that.”

The soft, relieved smile he received in return only confirmed how deep Koutarou was. He didn’t want to climb out of this hole he’d found himself in. 

These kinds of moments and realizations were frequent for Koutarou throughout his second and, finally, third year. His last year with Akaashi as his setter. 

Honestly, he should have been sadder about it. He should have been devastated, _inconsolable_ that he was leaving Akaashi after graduation. He should have been throwing tantrum after tantrum, emotions completely out of control. He should have been begging Akaashi for just five more minutes, five more tosses. And yet…

Yet.

All he could feel was his heart slowly, painfully breaking as Akaashi walked toward the gym, toward him. And wasn’t that funny? His heart breaking while Akaashi walked toward him, not away?

Koutarou was sitting on the steps outside the gym doors, one leg thrown wildly out while his arm wrapped around the other. He’d thrown his head back, staring at the part of the roof that cut into the sky. When he heard the crunch of gravel, he glanced to the side and caught sight of Akaashi making his way toward him. Thus, the cracking heart.

The crunching stopped as Akaashi came to a stop in front of him, his figure casting a welcoming shadow against Koutarou. Akaashi cleared his throat before speaking. Koutarou turned his head to give him his full attention.

“Bokuto-san,” He started, waiting for Koutarou’s hum before continuing. “I just—I wanted to stay-“ He let out a frustrated sigh. “Thank you,” He finally managed, bowing slightly.

Koutarou took a moment to take in Akaashi before he responded. He was still bowed slightly, which hid his face and eyes from Koutarou. The wind gently ruffled Akaashi’s hair, messing up what was probably a planned hairstyle. The sun beat down on both of them and while Koutarou had a bit of shade on his side, he could see that Akaashi was suffering a bit in the heat. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and there were two slightly damp patches on the front of his pants under the pockets.

Akaashi was someone who liked to hide his emotion, so Koutarou couldn’t even begin to guess what he was feeling. Well, except for the slight catch in his voice when he said _Thank you._

A bonus of Akaashi hiding his face and eyes was that he couldn’t see Koutarou’s expression either.

Koutarou knew he looked like a sap right then. He knew that his eyes were crinkling in the corners. He knew that there was a small smile on his face, starkly different to his usual broad grin. He knew all of that. He knew how much he’d fallen for Akaashi in the past two years. He knew that.

He also knew he couldn’t say anything.

This was Akaashi’s goodbye and Koutarou wouldn’t ruin that.

So, instead, Koutarou laughed brightly and kicked a leg out, catching Akaashi off guard and sending him stumbling back a step. Akaashi finally looked up and—ah. There were tears in his eyes.

“Don’t thank me, ‘Kaashi!” Koutarou said, throwing a bright grin at him. “We helped each other the same amount. It was a partnership.” Before Akaashi could even react to that, Koutarou shot up from his place on the steps and wrapped his arms around Akaashi. “Besides, if you start with all these _thank you’s_ , then I’ll have to do the same and I don’t think you want to cry anymore.”

Akaashi gaped at Koutarou for a moment, like he couldn’t believe he would feel the same. Or, well, different but regardless the _same_. Finally, after seemingly forever, Akaashi blinked and spared Koutarou a rare smile. “Ah, yes, Bokuto-san. We wouldn’t want that.”

As with every time Akaashi smiled, Koutarou felt like he was melting. He hoped that he could sink into that sensation for one last night.

Truthfully, Koutarou didn’t know what would happen. He knew that he would go on to join a division one team and play volleyball as long as possible. He knew he would go on to play in different courts, with a different team, with a different setter. He knew he would sync up with whoever that setter was easily, but they wouldn’t be Akaashi. Akaashi, who indulged Koutarou in his random moods and wants. Akaashi, who knew exactly what he needed all the time. Akaashi, who made his heart warm whenever he saw him.

Truthfully, Koutarou didn’t know what would happen. The best he could do was indulge his heart for one last night and spend it with Akaashi.

Koutarou released Akaashi from his stranglehold and took a few steps toward the gates of Fukurodani. “C’mon, ‘Kaashi!” He called, throwing his arms wide, grin even wider. “Let’s go do something!”

Akaashi answered easily. “Of course, Bokuto-san.”

Koutarou could let go, even if his heart protested it.

He could let Akaashi pass him by.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! I randomly decided to throw some angst onto bokuto despite the fact that I love him dearly. if you want to leave a comment or throw some kudos my way, feel free! validation can be quite fun, I've heard ;D


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